It was only when I noticed that my Coronation Street backlog was up to 28 episodes that I realized just how needy The Youngsters have been these days ... what with the tween dramas of the Big Youngster, the strep throat affliction of the Middle Youngster, and the constant attention-getting antics of Goo, the Littlest Youngster.

Still, they're good for something. Goo told me the other day, in a very loud voice, while in a very quiet library, that I was chubby. That was fun.

But I do have a word of caution for all of you childless Coronation Street fans out there. If you're toying with the idea of having kids of your own, you may want to have a little rethink. Might I suggest you do the following:

1. Get yourself a can of beer, pour it in a glass and pretend it is a pint of Newton and Ridley.
2. Get yourself a copy of the very special Corrie episode when Mike Baldwin dies.
3. Send your significant other to another room.
4. Get comfortable and start watching.
5. Try not to cry when Mike is dying in rival Ken Barlow's arms.
6. Just as Mike is uttering his last words "You're finished Barlow, Deirdre loves me, she's mine" have your significant other call from the other room, in an eardrum piercing whine, "Mooooommmmy, I've pooped myself again!"

If you still decide to have youngsters after this, you have both my sincerest admiration and my heartfelt condolences ... but, most of all, because you have the gall to call yourself a Corrie fan, you have my utmost repugnance.

I think Shaun Majumder and I could be BFF's. And here's why:

He's from Newfoundland - I'm from Newfoundland

He's kinda ebony - I'm kinda ivory

He's funny - I try to be.

He has Mussels In The Corner listed on one of his playlists - I once killed Mussels In The Corner on the accordion.

See what I mean? If that isn't BFF material I don't know what is.

I'm tellin' ya - if I ever got hold of Shaun Majumder I'd grab him by the cheeks and shake his head back and forth saying, "Who's a funny boy then? Huh? Who is it? Is it my Shaunie? Yes it is! Oh yes it is!"

Is this blog post confusing you? It's not about my dream life on the Yorkshire Dales, it's not about my dear persnickety Edgerton, it's not even about my three children whose constant needs keep me months behind on Coronation Street. So where did the whole Shaun Majumder/BFF thing come from you ask? I'll tell you where. CBC's Canada Writes. Shaun is one of the judges. I listened last week and his talent is undeniable. He tickles me, I tell ya. Cracks me right up.

If you ask me, Shaun Majumder fits right in here at Old Biddy Rambling. He and Edgie would get along, I'm sure of it (I must find out if Shaun appreciates fine coffee made in the most anal of ways), and I am sure Edgerton wouldn't mind if Shaun appeared in one of my dreamy Yorkshire Dales posts (after all, there's room for three around the open fire inside my charming thatched cottage).

Yes, Shaun would be a perfect BFF. I can see us now, sitting atop a cliff overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. It's beautiful. It's picturesque. The cold wind is eating the faces right off of us. The waves crash against the rocks, the noise preventing me from hearing anything Shaun says, but I watch his mouth moving and I laugh - oh how I laugh - because whatever he's saying is most certainly funny. It would have to be. It's coming from the sweet lips of Shaun Majumder. My BFF.

So what is it with ugly people on British soap operas? Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s fantastic - there’s nothing more refreshing than watching a program where the main character could eat an apple through a picket fence – but after years of watching American programming it always jars me a bit to see someone in a lead role with a face only a mother could love.

The differences between American and British soap operas are as big as the gap between Coronation Street’s Fiz Brown’s two front teeth. American soap characters are, for the most part, exceptionally glamorous and sophisticated. British soap characters are, for the most part, exceptionally ordinary and common as muck … which, in my opinion, makes them much more compelling than their U.S. counterparts.

The old dames of American soap operas (Felicia Gallant, Erica Kane) look elegant, refined, and as if they’ve had one too many trips to the plastic surgeon. The old dames of British soap operas (Dot Cotton, Vera Duckworth) look haggard, bedraggled, and as if they could do with a few trips to the plastic surgeon. Unfortunately, the acting abilities of the American soap actors are as fluffed up as their appearances, while the British actors keep it real.

I am convinced that the only way someone like Eastenders’ Dot Cotton, as much as I love her, would get a part on American television would be in the role of someone needing a face transplant on a Sunday night Hallmark Hall of Fame tearjerker. And that is a shame, considering her incredible talent.

In my opinion, the UK soaps are hands above the US ones and the reason is simple: they are realistic and believable … and in every gappy-toothed, big nosed, cross-eyed character, we see a bit of ourselves.

And I'll tell you something for nowt: I’d take Jack Duckworth over Jack Deveraux any day.